


love is a funny thing

by kittybenzedrine



Category: Umbrella Academy
Genre: Angst, Crying, Drug Use, M/M, So. Much. Crying., Violence, but only a lil bit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-12
Updated: 2014-12-12
Packaged: 2018-02-28 18:42:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2743088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kittybenzedrine/pseuds/kittybenzedrine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He heard Ben sigh. "I just don't want to, I guess be wrong? From what you said, I might not love him how I <i>should</i>, y'know? I don't want to hurt him like that."</p>
<p>Did... What did he mean by that? Did he... Did Ben not love him?</p>
<p>-----<br/>Ben felt a lot better. She'd helped him sort himself out, and figure out that maybe he didn't love like the rest of them, but it was love nonetheless. And he loved that boy silly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>[Klaus hears something out of context and fucks up royally. Whoops.]</p>
            </blockquote>





	love is a funny thing

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't decided on their age in this, so I'm gonna hold it between 17-19.
> 
> And the pieces that focus more on Klaus will be done in italics so you can tell them apart

Allison blinked at him, her brows slightly creased. He looked at her expectantly, eyes wide like a small child. Her brows furrowed together, and she cocked her head, making a 'go on' motion with her hand. "Come again?"

Ben let out an exasperated sigh. "I saaaaid, what does love feel like to you? Like, romantic love, not platonic love. Is, is it really that hard to describe? Cause, like, the stuff I see in movies, I don't know if it's good to go on."

She slapped her ace onto the pile of cards between them on her bed, and then groaned, taking the small stack, shuffling them into her own cards. "That's a pretty tricky question," she told him. She set her cards face down, shifting around to get more comfortable. "Why do you ask?"

Ben shrugged. "All the stuff I see in movies and stuff are like, gushy and spontaneous, y'know, burns like a fire and all that junk, but, um. I guess my love for Klaus doesn't feel like that. I want to make sure that I'm not loving him wrong or something. That's why I came to you, because I know you've had boyfriends before."

"Ummm," she stared, absently looking around as she searched for the words. "Well, firstly, love feels different for everyone. Not too much, but no one loves distinctly the same. For me, I guess it just... Okay, wait,"

She stretched her crossed legs our from under herself, propping her bare feet up on Ben's crossed legs.

She opened her mouth to speak, then froze. How _do_ you describe love. "That. That is a really good question. Uhhh, why don't you tell me what it feels like to you, and then we can work from there?"

He nodded, habit taking over as he began rubbing her feet. Damn Klaus and his damn need for foot rubs every ten seconds.

"Well, um, I guess I just feel happy around him? Like really happy. I really like spending time with him, you know, like when we sneak out and go to the arcade, or just sitting around and shooting the breeze." He shrugged.

"Like, I like doing stuff with him. Both in that sense and not in that sense. Just helping him do his laundry is nice. Generally, you know, him, I guess. He, he makes me happy. I like being around him."

She nodded. That sounded pretty... okay? Didn't sound 'wrong'. "Alright, and so you can compare to platonic love, and how do you feel about the rest of us?" Allison asked, holding back her sighs. Ben had magic hands and her feet had been aching for days.

He thought for a moment, biting at the skin on his lip. "Well, I guess the same, but way less intense and without the urge to screw you guys."

She let out a short laugh. "I'm glad. Well, honestly it sounds fine to me. Kinda different from how I feel it, but like I said, no two people love the same. That's just your way of loving."

 

 

_He could hear Ben talking in Allison's room as he floated lazily down the hall, but he couldn't hear his words. Probably traumatizing her with details of the amazing sex they'd had last night. She laughed, said something. Maybe not. Ah well, time to find out._

_Klaus loved eavesdropping._

_"I believe you, I'm just scared, you know? I don't want to hurt him." Wait, what? Was Ben talking about him? He pressed his shoulder to the door frame, keeping out of sight._

_He heard Allison let out a low groan. Same groan Klaus himself made when Ben rubbed his feet. "I know you're worried, but it'll eventually work itself out, right?"_

_What the hell were they talking about? What would 'work itself out'?_

_He heard Ben sigh. "I just don't want to, I guess be wrong? From what you said, I might not love him how I should, y'know? I don't want to hurt him like that."_

_Did... What did he mean by that? Did he... Did Ben not love him?_

_He felt like Space had just stomped on his chest._

_He struggled to keep himself calm. He couldn't believe what he was hearing, and he sure as fuck didn't want to hear anymore of it. Wordlessly, he drifted past her door, ignoring her amused mutter of 'speak of the devil'._

_He. He just. Fuck._

_He needed to be alone. He needed to cry. Definitely needed to cry a lot. He needed pills. He needed a metric ton of weed._

 

 

She smiled, patted him on the stomach when he stood up. "Alright? Now go kiss your boyfriend and if you guys screw, keep it down. You guys rattle the walls sometimes." He laughed at that.

Ben felt a lot better. She'd helped him sort himself out, and figure out that maybe he didn't love like the rest of them, but it was love nonetheless. And he loved that boy silly.

He went into Klaus' room without knocking, like always. He was perched on his bed, rolling a joint, with a pained look on his face. He glanced up for half a second, then looked away.

"Hey Klaus! I just got done talking to Allison, and -"

It was so quiet, he almost didn't hear it. He might not have even noticed if he hadn't seen Klaus' mouth move.

"Get out."

"... You okay, Klausy-Cloud?" Ben asked, crossing the threshold.

"I said get out."

Ben flinched, taking slow, tentative steps forward. Was Klaus in a mood? Did he need a hug? Kiss maybe? "...Klaus? What's-"

Ben jumped hard when Klaus launched himself off the bed, his face red and teeth bared, knocking a good deal of his weed onto the floor. Grabbed Ben and shoved him out of the room so hard his back hit the wall opposite of Klaus' room. "I SAID GET THE FUCK OUT!"

And he slammed his door shut so hard that the entire second floor rattled.

Ben clutched the front of his t-shirt, trying to figure out what the fuck just happened. His back hurt, and his chest ached something awful. Doors opened, heads poked out, all of them also trying to figure out what the fuck just happened.

He was hyperventilating by the time one of them hesitantly called out his name, and that was when the dam broke. He let out a noise that could have been a short, high pitched laugh, if not for him covering his mouth and the tears beginning to pour down his face.

 

 

_He cried in the middle of the floor for a very long time before getting up and forcing it down. He didn't need to be crying over Ben, never mind that he'd just thrown him into a wall and made him start crying as well. And he needed to clean up. Compulsive depression cleaning._

_He'd once cleaned the whole academy top to bottom when everyone but him was gone on a two day long mission when he was 13. It was better than laying in a dark room for two days and crying while mom tried to coax him out._

_He ignored Vanya pleading to come in while he cleaned up his spilled weed, moved his dresser in front of the door in case she pulled out her fancy lockpicks, and cleaned the dresser too._

_He dusted, scrubbed the window, hung and folded his clean clothes, put the dirties in the dirty basket, reorganized his shoes, and then Vanya called him for dinner._

_Klaus sat in a different chair tonight._

 

 

He stayed locked in his room, crying on and off for nearly three hours, ignoring Allison and Vanya's attempts at getting in, ignoring the sounds of them trying to get to Klaus as well. He'd locked his own door, and knowing Vanya had picked up lockpicking somewhere, he barricaded the door with his dresser. Absolutely refused to open the door or come out. That is, until Diego pounded on his door, telling him he had to come down for dinner _right now, Ben, we're hungry_. Dinner was mandatory for all of them to attend together.

So, he wiped his eyes and blew his nose, put on his brave face, and went down. He wasn't even hungry, and his stomach turned when he saw the chair next to his was empty.

Ever since they were big enough to sit at the huge, shiny oak table, he and Klaus had sat right next to each other. The table was built for ten, and with only six of them eating, it left a few chairs empty. It had never mattered, because he'd had his brother, best friend, boyfriend by his side. But now the seat to his left was vacant, and Klaus was across the table, as far away as he could get.

He ate the bare minimum that he could and got the fuck out of there before he started crying again.

 

 

Was this what a broken heart felt like?

 

 

_He spent most of the night flat on his back, staring unseeingly at the ceiling. Ben had looked so crushed at dinner when Klaus' normal seat was empty. He didn't understand why. Ben was the one that said those dreadful words anyways._

_"I might not love him how I should."_

_What the fuck did that even mean? How the hell else was Ben supposed to love him? With a fucking can opener?_

_If he didn't love Klaus 'how he should', then what the hell did Ben even have him around for? It wasn't like they could flaunt each other without there being an uproar from the public or their father. The sex? He knew they'd been each other's first, and knew if he really wanted to, Ben could keep himself entertained with the tentahorror._

_The only other thing he could think of was loneliness._

_He rolled over, wiped away tears that he hadn't known he was crying. He reached over and opened his nightstand drawer and felt around inside for the prescription bottle that he kept his vicodin in. He hadn't bothered to turn any lights on._

_Heartbreak wasn't nearly a strong enough word for what he was feeling. Klaus wasn't good with his feelings. He didn't know how to handle them at all, not without someone to talk to. And the only person he really talked to..._

_He took a few green beans and listened to the dead whisper to him until sleep whispered the loudest._

 

 

The next week was hell. He didn't get any proper sleep, he developed a sinus headache from crying so much, and they had no missions, meaning he stayed in his room, drowning in his own misery.

Any attempts to talk to Klaus at all resulted in harsh glares, sneers, and yelling. It absolutely crushed him.

He knew Klaus got into moods, but... He'd never yelled at Ben before, let alone thrown him into a wall. Klaus wouldn't even talk to anyone about it. Him and Diego had gotten into a screaming match about it so bad that the Monocle had to come break it up. That was Tuesday.

His only distraction was vicious, rigorous training on Wednesday. Him and Space squared off, and Ben got his ass kicked spectacularly. That actually gave him a reason to cry that night.

 

 

_Ben kept trying to talk to him. So did the others, but mostly Ben. He just wouldn't take the fucking hint that Klaus really, really didn't want to talk to him. No amount of glaring and yelling got him to stop. And with no missions that week, he was stuck being an angry puddle of drugs and stolen booze._

_Diego had the nerve to come up to him on Tuesday and tell him what an absolute piece of shit he was being to Ben, and that argument had gotten loud and ugly real fast. They got extra patrols when the old bat finally came and split them up._

_Pity. He was about to reshape Diego's nose with his fist._

 

 

On Thursday night, he was woken from a nap by Luther, Vanya, Allison, and Diego crowding into his room. And very rudely turning his light on.

He sat up, confused and sleepy. "Wha-?"

Vanya plopped down next to him, where his head had just been. She pulled him into a hug and rubbed his bad as Allison climbed up on his other side. "Wake up, sleepy head," Vanya murmured softly, patting his back as Ben rubbed his eyes and muttered 'but I am awake'. Diego set on the edge of his bed, and Luther sat next to the bed.

"Okay," Allison started, rhythmically patting his legs. "We hate seeing you so upset, and Klaus is pissing us off with the way he's been treating you, so we've been planning for a couple days."

Ben yawned viciously, pulling away from his dark haired sister to stretch. "What? Planning what?" He didn't like it when they started planning things.

 

 

_They were all far too quiet. Klaus didn't like it. The only time it was quite was after curfew, and that was because they were either asleep or sneaking out. He pulled out the nail polish he'd stolen from the store and unscrewed it._

_Quiet before curfew meant something was up._

 

 

"Got it?" Diego asked, looking at him. Ben stared blankly before slowly shaking his head 'no'.

Spaceboy groaned. "It's easy, Number Six." Ben just continued to stare. Maybe it hadn't been such a good idea to wake him up for this.

The girls were a bit more patient with him, thank God.

"Go in there, lock the door, use scare tactics. You don't yell or curse, so yell and curse. Get in his face. Grab him, if you have to," Vanya told him, gently running a brush through his hair.

"Get answers out of him. Hold him down and make him talk, if that's what has to be done," Allison said from his closet as she rifled through his clothes, trying to find something clean that wasn't pajamas.

"We'll be close by on the offhand chance that something goes bad," Diego assured him.

"I'll break down his door if I have to," Luther promised.

Ben, however, was very unsure of all of this. And extremely nervous. "But... I, I'm not that kind of person. I-I-I don't yell. And, um, I don't curse, or get in uh, in peoples faces. I only grab the um, the bad guys."

Allison tossed some clothes at him. "You don't need to be so nervous, Ben. We're a team. We'll be on standby for you. And put those on. Its not like we don't see you in your underwear with that costume of yours."

That got a small smile out of him. He changed in record time, and let Vanya run the brush through his hair again. "So, um. Just run it by me one more time."

"Go in there, get answers by any methods necessary. We'll be in the sitting room just down the hall in case things go bad," Diego said, watching him from his spot on Ben's bed.

 

 

_There were several sets of footsteps that went towards the sitting room. He was still unsettled. Sitting room was plotting room. Oh great. More footsteps. But only a single, light set that he had memorized._

 

 

Stealthily, he locked the knob as he shut Klaus' door behind himself. He crossed the room in confident strides, doing his best to ignore Klaus all but growing at him.

"Get the fuck out, squid boy," he snarled, screwing his nail polish shut and tossing it away from himself.

Ben steeled himself. "What's your problem, Klaus?" He demanded, stopping in the middle of the room. Klaus merely told him to get out even louder.

Be aggressive. Be aggressive. Be. Aggressive.

He strode over, got right in Klaus' face. Barred his teeth. "What the fuck is your problem?!"

Klaus looked surprised for a moment before collecting himself. He shoved Ben back, floating up to leer over him. "My goddamn problem is you, you fucking liar!"

"The hell are you talking about? I've never lied to you," Ben told him, clenching his jaw. He felt like he was about to cry again. He was also terrified. He shoved Klaus away from him, harder than he'd meant to.

Klaus mocked his voice in a high falsetto, his lip curled dangerously. "'I might not love him how I should.' Sound fucking familiar?"

Ben's face blanched. All of his bravado and mock assholeishness was gone. "Klaus... Was that all you heard of that conversation?"

"It was all I needed to fucking hear. So what was I? A fucking experiment? Figure out you like boys, figure out I put out and I'm good in bed? That all you want me for?"

Ben saw that Klaus' eyes were turning red, his voice was strained, and he was biting his lip to keep it from wobbling. "Klaus, no. I. Just, please. Let me talk, okay?"

"And why the fuck should I?"

"Because I want you to hear everything before you damn me."

 

 

_He wasn't going to cry. He couldn't cry in front of him._

_Klaus simultaneously did and didn't want to listen to Ben. He also couldn't say anything, because if he opened his mouth, the dam would shatter into a billion pieces and he'd cry a fucking ocean._

 

 

Klaus glared at him, his breath coming in shudders. His feet hit the floor and he crossed his arms. Ben's eyes went to the floor, unable to look at him.

"Klaus, you heard what I said completely out of context. I was talking to her about it because I was scared I'm loving you wrong. The way I feel love sounds way different than what everyone else feels, and I don't want to hurt you if I can't love you right."

He had tears in his eyes, and god they burned. He looked up, and Klaus' face was blank.

 

 

_… He fucked up. Sweet baby Jesus, he fucked up._

 

 

"The way I meant that was that I was scared I'm not giving you the right kind of love and I wanted to figure out how to give it to you."

 

 

_He fucked up so goddamn bad. His chest ached. He knew he'd fucked up with Ben and he didn't know what to do, he didn't know how to handle his feelings, goddammit all to fucking hell, he fucked up._

 

 

They had a stare down for a moment, both of them with teary, red eyes. Klaus clenched his fists.

Klaus launched himself at Ben, and Ben braced himself, prepared for the worst. He was completely unprepared, however, for Klaus to wrap his arms around him and sob into his chest, murmuring over and over again that he was sorry, so sorry Ben, so sorry.

"I'm so fucking sorry Ben," Klaus hiccupped, fisting his hands into the fabric of Ben's shirt. "I shouldn't have, I, I should have listened more, I should- I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions like that. Fuck Ben, you've done nothing wrong, you, you, you love me perfectly. I'm so sorry."

He held Klaus tight, his lips to his redbrown hair. His chest squeezed and his stomach flipped when Klaus moved his face, still wet with tears, to Ben's neck and murmured that he was sorry and he loved him, loved him so much.

 

 

_He filled Ben up with ice cream and have him an apologetic back rub. All that stress had decimated Ben's shoulders and upper back, which were landmines of knots._

_Klaus told him a story while he did it. Ben's favorite, Hansel and Gretel. The brothers Grimm version. He had it memorized down to the teeth._

_They fell asleep that night squished onto Klaus' bed, holding hands._

**Author's Note:**

> I feel like Klaus was a really emotionally fucked up teen due to puberty + superpowers. Very irrational and erratic person at times. So that's why he's all [incoherent keysmash].


End file.
